The skill of mentalization enables us to interpret human behaviour automatically along inner mental states (desires, feelings, intentions, etc.). So if somebody dives into the fridge, we see not only the behavior, but also interpret that they are likely to be hungry (feeling) and they are looking for food (purpose).

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Most adults can distinguish between an outer and an inner world, we understand that behind the behaviour of another person there are various inner states that only the other person has access to. A person can be reticent, because we hurt them, because somebody had hurt them earlier or because they have simply nothing to say. We are in a mentalizing state, if we ask them about their inner state instead of forcing our own interpretation onto them.

 

It enables us to approach ourselves from an outer, and the others from an inner perspective. Mentalization is the key to our emotional and personality development and behavioral regulation cannot be effective without this skill. Mentalization is necessary for skills like labeling and controlling emotions, developing our personal boundaries, changing perspectives and assertive communication, all of which are essential for gaining social competence.